Girls Just Wanna Have Fun
by Biredy955
Summary: <html><head></head>A story based in the Movie/Toon universe. Lydia has been forced to forget Beetlejuice twice, now he's out again… but on one condition. He has to go as a woman.</html>
1. On One Condition

Ok, I don't own these characters or the world. Those belong to Tim Burton and to Geffin Film Co. But I do love them and this is my little attempt to write about them.

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><p>"1,844,321,343,374,239,432,837,050,209,742,342!" called the blue-green beauty behind the glass wall. She sneered when the man with dirty blonde hair, dirty striped suit, and well, dirty everything came to the window.<p>

"Hiya babes"

"I am NOT your babes." She said in a cool, precise tone, thick with distain. She took his ticket from his hand and pointed to a door in the wall next to her. "Juno will see you now."

The man straightened his suit and made for the door. "Thanks babes, call me if ya ever want me to tell ya how to get out of that box. I'm sure we can work out some way for ya to thank me later…"

A glittering red stiletto heel hit the wall next to his head, and he ducked quickly through the door. He found himself facing an industrial metal desk of the sort seen in government offices the world over and after. Behind the desk sat an older woman, a cigarette in her hand, the smoke leaking from the slit in her throat. Her eyes fixed coolly on him as he walked in and she motioned him wordlessly to a seat across from her.

He turned the chair around, straddling it and leaning on the back, head on crossed arms. "Junie, Baby! Long time no see!" an insincere grin stretched his features unnaturally.

"Come off it beetle-brain, you're no happier to see me than I am to see you. Frankly if I could have I would have kept you locked up permanently and never seen you again. Do you know the amount of work you caused me cleaning up the mess you made with that Deetz girl? Not only paperwork but field work and filing. It's taken me nearly ten years to clear it all up. And now that it's all done, you are getting out and will no doubt cause me no end of new trouble to deal with."

"Aww I'm not that bad! Besides, I'm a reformed man! You don't have to worry about me!"

The woman cut him off with a look and a chop of her red manicured hand. "Shut it. That is what you said last time and you know what happened then."

"It was such a beautiful wedding…" he sniffed and wiped a dramatic tear from his eye, then blew his nose loudly into his handkerchief.

"She was sixteen, you idiot!"

"And who was it that erased her memory of her best friend so that the only way I had to get back to her was that?"

"Marriage?" Her eyes were wide and her face incredulous.

He cleared his throat and pulled a large, brown, dusty, tome and a pair of glasses from thin air, opening the book and reading aloud in a deep and authoritative voice. "Ahem… 'Whosoever shall marry the living shall at once be granted all rights pertaining to the living state and shall be able to lawfully traverse between worlds at will. So too shall the living spouse be able to traverse the veil and shall likewise have all rights and responsibilities held by one of the dead.' Had the wedding gone through I would have been able to get her back her memory and things could have been just like they used t' be."

"You and your god damn Julliard education. Where the hell did you find that out?"

He held up the book so she could see the title.

"I should have known… the corrected version of Dante's Inferno…"

He snorted. "Yea, man he had egg on his face when he got down here" After Dante had arrived he had gone on to correct his masterwork it had become the authoritative book on the rules and laws of the dead. The Egyptians had not been amused.

"Be it as it may, Beatle, the wedding did not go through, and I forbid you to see that girl again."

"How ya gonna stop me, Toots?"

"With this…" Juno grabbed his arm and snapped a bracelet around his wrist. He stared at it dumbfounded.

"What the hell is this?"

"You get within ten feet of Miss Deetz and you lose all of your powers. You can do nothing to her and you will gradually fade from being if you stay near her too long. Do you hear me? You will be exorcised by her very presence. "

He gaped at the bauble and back up at his former mentor. "You can't do this to me"

'I can and I have. Consider it the terms of your parole, Beatle. I would say it was nice seeing you again, but that would be a lie. Goodbye."

"Hey wait, can't I appeal or something? What can I do? Please, Juno! Baby! I can't live like this! I promised the kid I wouldn't leave her! I told her I'd be there for her!

"You've never worried about keeping your promises before. Not keeping that one should cause you no trouble at all."

"Yer killin' me Junes!"

"You're already dead." She pushed the button on her desk. "Send in my next appointment please."

"Juno! I'm beggin' ya!" he fell to his knees and grabbed her leg in supplication

She looked down on him and a strange light flickered in her eyes. "Ok… you can have one more chance to do right by the girl. On three conditions."

He looked up at her with hope and nodded.

"One, that bracelet stays on; ensuring no powers and that you can't spend more than ten hours in her company at a time safely. Two, you will only be allowed into the mortal world for a set amount of time. You will be given three months to get things done. And three… you will go… as a woman. "

"What!"

"You heard me. You will go as a woman"

"Why?"

"I don't want you getting romantically entangled with this girl, Beatle. And since she is not attracted to women, so far as I know, you being one will drastically reduce the possibilities of that."

"Waiiiitttt… you're afraid I would try to…. With LYDS? Yeeeuukk!"

"She's not a little girl anymore, Beatle. It's been ten years. She's a woman now, and I won't have you messing up her life."

"Ok, fine, I'll do it." His face was grim, determined looking. For a moment Juno worried that she had made a misjudgment in allowing him even what she had. He shook her hand and on the final pump of his arm a poof of smoke enveloped him. Suddenly in his place stood a blonde woman in a striped skirt suit. Her long blonde hair was held back in a conservative swirl and tiny metallic beetles hung from her earrings. Her red painted lips curled into a sarcastic smile. "how ya like me now Junie?." Her voice was husky but not unattractive, with a hint of a southern California accent. Her green eyes flickered with amusement.

"Get out of my office before I change my mind, Beetle."

With that he, or rather, she, disappeared, leaving Juno to slump in her chair and wonder if she had just made the biggest mistake of her afterlife.


	2. Lydia's Life

BJ and Lydia and the rest of the Beetlejuice world all belong to Tim Burton and Geffen Film Co., even though I wish they belonged to me. On the other hand, any other characters and the plot do belong to me. So without further adue, back to the story!

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><p>Roughly Three years before:<p>

Lydia watched as the trees flew by her and the train thrummed beneath her. She was headed home. Well, if this place, Winter River, could be called home after she had spent so much time else ware. Delia had sent her away to a boarding school in new york not long after her sixteenth birthday, so save for a few holidays (often they came to see her for holidays since "the city is just sooo much more interesting, Lydia!" to quote Delia. She snorted and watched the river the town was named for come into view. Soon they crested a hill and the whole town lay out before her like that little model in the attic she had no idea how got there. She smirked as she thought about how much her dad's friend, Adam Maitland, liked that thing. He almost acted like he had made it himself, and it made her giggle. The Maitlands came and stayed with her parents sometimes and though it seemed a bit odd, they had never been anything but sweet to Lydia. Especially after her accident.

Soon after moving to Winter River something had happened and Lydia couldn't remember what it was. Thanks to some Hypnotherapy from her psychologist, a lovely lady whom she called Dr. J., she was a bit better, but things about that night were still blurry. She was told that she had been very sad and had tried to kill herself. They even showed her the note, which started with "I am so alone" she smirked at that; she had used it as a line in her first book, which had published the previous summer. It didn't make her much in the way of money or fame, but it felt good.

The short, pale 23 year old sighed, leaning her head against her hand on the windowpane of the seat. They were pulling into the station and her dad was waiting on the platform. She hopped off the train and ran to hug her dad.

"Hey there Pumpkin!" he grinned and she smiled back

"Hi daddy. So where's mom?"

"Back at the house. Barbra is trying to teach her to cook."

"Again? You'd think she would realize that it's a lost cause" she smirked, heading towards the car.

"Well you know Delia, once she gets something in her head, she won't give up"

Lydia smirked more and snickered. "You can say that again."

They arrived home a half hour later, and Lydia ran into the house, yelling "I'm home!" She suddenly felt like a weight had lifted from her, feeling inexplicably happy she went up to put her things in her room then bounded down to the kitchen. Delia was nervously stirring a pot of something and Barbra was behind her, looking almost as worried, biting her lip. Lydia had to laugh at the image.

"Hi there you two!" she grinned and hugged both women, only half noticing how cold Barb was. Then again, Barbra was always cold, always had been. The thought just sort of drifted out of Lydia's mind every time it came up. She helped the women finish the Christmas Eve meal of seafood chowder and homemade rolls, then they all sat down together to the eat.

Charles said the grace, his voice somber and peaceful. Lydia snuck a peak around the table. Her parents and the couple who were like an aunt and uncle to her all looked solemn till barb opened one eye and then stuck her tongue out at Lydia. Lydia gasped in laughter and her dad looked up, arching an eyebrow at her with a smile before he finished the prayer with a hearty "Amen, let's eat!"

The meal finished, they moved to the living room, chatting about life's events, which mostly meant talking about what Lydia was up to since the others hadn't done much and the girl had been very busy with her new literary career.

"So, do you still do photography Lydia?" asked Adam with a smile, remembering when and how he and his wife had first met the girl, even if she didn't.

She shook her head. "No, not for a while now, my writing sort of took over, and then there's school... I don't know why it took me so long to go back into fashion design, but it's been great!." She smiled, and then frowned a little. "Every time I tried to take a picture I got this funny feeling on the back of my neck… like there was something I was forgetting important… "She shivered a little. "I decided I should leave it be for now"

Her parents and the Maitlands exchanged worried glances then plastered smiles on their faces. "Well that's ok dear" said Delia, patting her step-daughter's leg.

Soon they all retired to bed but Charles couldn't sleep. He lay in bed beside his wife, thinking of his little girl. Had they done the right thing? Lydia's Doctor had said that hypnotism would completely erase the memories of that terrible night, that she wouldn't even remember anything that would remind her of that ghost… unfortunately too much time in the same place it had all happened would jeopardize all of that, so she had been sent off to boarding school under the excuse that she could be with her friends in new york then, and she believed them. He had missed his little girl the whole time, but she needed to be away and her regular sessions with Dr. J. would eventually make it so that nothing would ever remind her of that awful ghost again.

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><p>About six months ago:<p>

Lydia watched the lights of New York from her window and thought about her life. She was a professional author, her books weren't best sellers, but they made enough, and she was prolific enough to be able to make a living at it. She loved it… he stories were full of the supernatural and the dark. The macabre flew from her fingertips to her keyboard to the hearts and minds of her readers in a near constant and slightly disturbing stream. She had even made enough to put herself through school and pursue her passion for clothing design. The same dark sensibility ran through her collections as ran in her writing, though she had a disturbing penchant for red flowing fabric sporting spider webs, crimson poufy toile and lace, and black and white striped cotton, sharply tailored.

She had finished her counseling with Dr. J. earlier that month and felt so much better. The Doctors methods were so good she sometimes wondered why no one else thought to use hypnotherapy to treat depression. Then one day the call came. Her parents had died, and would she please come to Winter River to oversee the arrangements? The voice was courteous on the other end, but she was a wreck as she struggled out of her cab and up to the big empty house on the hill. She walked around the back and let herself in at the kitchen door, not feeling like seeing the big welcoming foyer that had for so long been a place of reunions to her.

She sighed and looked around the kitchen. Everything as Delia had used to keep it. They had been in a car accident and had died simultaneously. At least they hadn't had to miss each other. Lydia didn't believe in an afterlife, but she knew that if one of them had survived the other that one would have been miserable missing their beloved. She walked up the back stairs to what had been her room and laid down her bags with a tired sigh. She had seen to the funeral arrangements that morning before she came and now she was utterly drained. She flopped onto her bed and fell into an instant deep and dreamless sleep.

The next week was so busy. She tried with her might to contact the Maitlands, but to no avail. She couldn't even find a number in her mother or fathers papers and address books. She had attended the funeral, silent and pale in her long black dress and floppy black hat, so like what she had worn when she had first come to this town. Now she was laying her parents to rest here and their lawyer had informed her that she now owned their house and everything else. She hadn't realized it, but her dad had paid the place off years before, so it really was hers on more than paper.

She came home after the meeting with the lawyer and looked around her parents'… no… her house, her eyes red from tears. Her step mothers sculptures were everywhere, green ceramic with strange images that had always made her skin crawl. But she sat and stared at them now, as if they still may contain some spark of the lively woman who had, while not being the best mother in the world, been so very good to her father. She shook her head and headed to her father's study where his binoculars sat out as if he had just gone for a cup of coffee before coming back to his bird watching. It made her ache. She spent her first night in her own house curled up on the couch, tears streaming down her face as she cried herself into a deep sleep.

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><p>Present:<p>

Over time things healed. In the months that followed she had finished her school courses and started to set up shop making clothes in Winter River. Her life was what could sort of be called normal. She cleaned, she wrote, she cooked, she ate, she ran errands, she worked, and all the things people do in a normal life. One day she decided she was going to clean the attic. She grabbed her supplies and scaled the stairs, surveying the space with a gimlet eye. There were cobwebs everywhere, and someone had drawn on the wall with chalk. She shook her head in consternation and started with that, unknowingly erasing the Maitlands' way back from the visit they had taken to see Juno once they had found out about the Deetz's death. She cleaned the room top to bottom, and then she found a small jewelry box, like you get rings in, behind one of the dressers, pushed way back into a corner like someone was hiding it. She held up her prize to the dim light and opened the box. Inside was a dirty gold and emerald ring. It was so pretty! She held it up to the sunbeams and it sparkled despite the grunge that covered it. She smiled and took it downstairs, dumping it into a little cup of jewelry cleaner before going back to her cleaning. Over the course of the day she got the attic set up as a sewing and writing room, looking around herself with satisfaction at a job well done.

She traipsed down the stairs for her "reward"; the pretty ring. With a few strokes of an old toothbrush and a little water the grime gave way and she had herself a lovely ring. Not getting why, but feeling it belonged there, she slipped the ring onto her ring finger. Hmm… well it would keep men from hitting on her, and she was yet to find one who attracted her in the slightest. It gave her a funny feeling to look at it there… like the one she used to get from trying to take photos. Like there was something she needed to remember desperately.

At that moment Beetlejuice, who had just juiced himself into Winter River, felt a tug.

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><p>Please be kind and review so I can know what to do next with this! Thanks!<p> 


	3. Dress Up

I know, I know, it s been forever, but here it is, finally! Another chapter! So far my efforts to buy the characters from Geffen and co. for the cost of a bag of gummy worms are still unsuccessful, so they belong still to them, and not me . Such a pity (Hint at the next thing I m doing!)  
>Enjoy!<p>

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><p>Beetlejuice slumped at the bar, nursing his whiskey. The bartender had arched his eyebrows at the pretty blonde ordering such a strong drink, but had poured it and left him, err her or whatever.<p>

He scowled and thought about what he had learned. He had spent the past week around Winter River learning everything he could about what had happened with her in the past ten years. He was formulating a plan of approach.

"Hey! Hiya Lyds! Remember me? That ghost you used to hang out with and who tried to marry ya?" wasn t going to cut it, especially since he was stuck in this (admittedly hot) girl form.

"Hey, are you ok? Did it hurt?" asked a voice from behind him. He turned to take in a large muscular man in a Patriots shirt and grungy jeans.

"What?" He asked, no idea what the man was getting at.

The man surged forward, putting his hand on BJ s shoulder and pressing his face close.

"Did you get hurt when you fell from heaven?"

Beetlejuice panicked for a moment. How did this guy know he was dead? Sure he had the details wrong about WHERE he had come from, but how? Then it dawned on him. It was a pickup line! This guy was HITTING on him!

He pushed the man away. "Look bub, I don t swing that way."

"You just haven t had the right man then. Let me help you, baby I can show you a REAL good time" The man leaned closer and wrapped an arm around Beetlejuice's waist with a slimy smile.

Beetlejuice shoved the man off and glowered at him. "What the fuck, man! I said no! What are ya, retarded?"

"Ohh FIESTY! I like it! Come on baby, you're too pretty to be a dyke." the man closed the distance between them again and grabbed Beetlejuice with both hands at the waist, pressing against him with obvious intent to grope.

"That s IT!" Beetlejuice hauled back and punched the man in the face. He stumbled back and fell to the ground, out cold. BJ went back to his barstool and his drink. The bartender gaped at him.

"What? Never seen a girl defend herself before?" he sneered. The bartender looked away, suddenly finding the polishing of glasses to be VERRY interesting. Beetlejuice sulkily finished his drink and walked into the night to plot.

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><p>Beetlejuice floated invisible outside of Lydia's Workroom window, watching her pin a swathe of black and white striped fabric around her dressmakers form. The obvious influence of his fashion sense on her creations was not lost on him and gave him a secret bit of hope.<p>

He was startled form his rumination when he suddenly dropped into the bushes below the window, his powers drained completely. He looked up to see Lydia leaning out of her window spraying black paint onto a bunch of silk flowers. He had been so lost in thought he hadn t noticed her coming close enough to trigger the goddamn bracelet.

He stood and brushed off, deciding that he had had enough of skulking around. He walked away from the house far enough to juice himself a mirror and straightened up. He didn t make a bad chick, in his own opinion. He carefully smoothed his hair down into its twist and applied a fresh coat of red lipstick before snapping his fingers and banishing the mirror and makeup. He walked right up to Lydia s front door and knocked.

It took a moment for her to open the door. There was a smudge of black paint on her cheek and it matched her lipstick. Beetlejuice s lips curled into an amused smile. It was still the same Lyds, no matter that she had grown up, and done so quite nicely.

"Hello? Can I help you?" she asked, gazing at poltergeist on her doorstep. The moment stretched as Lydia tried to figure out where she knew this person from and Beetlejuice mentally begged her to remember.

Finally he gave up and swooped her into a huge hug. "Oh my god! Lydia! It s me! Betty! Remember? From Miss Shannon's? I heard you had gotten back into town and had to come say hi!"

"Um hi..." Managed Lydia, pressed between Betty's ample bosoms. She vaguely remembered a Betty from school. A dirty and rude girl who had nevertheless been a good and loyal friend. And there her mind went into fog again, teasing her and taunting her with the edged of things she knew she should remember. She hugged the woman back awkwardly and was eventually released.

Lydia looked the woman over. Her hair was still that light blonde, her eyes still green, but she was now the picture of a polished and sophisticated lady.

"Why don't you come in, would you like some tea or coffee?"

"Coffee would be great!" Beetlejuice watched appreciatively as Lydia walked in front of him to the kitchen, motioning to a seat at the table and pulling out a tin of coffee. "So, what have you been up to, Lyds?"

"Well I went to school and became a fashion designer, I also write."

"Yea! I read your latest! Really great stuff!" he actually had read everything she had published when he had learned she had made it in the literary sense. He was particularly proud of how morbid she had turned out.

"Oh thank you!" Lydia was blushing a little, just at the tips of her ears, where no one who didn't know her would have noticed it. Of course, Beetlejuice noticed it and smiled.

"What have you been up to, Betty?"

"Oh this an that. I did some modeling over at GQ" she smirked.

Lydia turned and raised her eyebrows "Don't they do mostly men's fashion?"

"Well yea, but they liked the idea of a cute girl to switch things up." Beatlejuice winked at Lydia and the blush spread.

"Um yea..." she handed Beatle a mug of steaming black coffee and put a jug of milk and some sugar on the table. "Want to see what I'm working on?"

"Sure sounds great!" Beatle put a few scoops of sugar in the coffee and followed her up those familiar stairs to the attic. She showed him the dress, now decorated with the painted black flowers and draped stripes.

"What do you think?"

"It's great really... deadly vou, as you used to say?" Lydia blushed a bit more and Beatlejuice inwardly smirked. If he had her blushing some part of her must know him. He just had to push the right buttons and she would be his Lyds again in no time. An idea struck him that would buy him all the time he needed with her to make it happen.

"Say, do you want to see it on a real person? I am a model after all!" He grinned wide and Lydia lit up.

"Oh my goth! That would be perfect! It s so hard to find a model willing to come out to Winter River to help me! Are you sure?"

"You betcha! I haven t got anything to do and this stuff is real great!"

In a few minutes Beetlejuice sashayed out of the bathroom and into the front room of the house where Lydia was setting.

"Iiiitttttssss shhhoooowwtime!" He growled and Lydia clapped her hands ecstatically.

"It s perfect! You're perfect!" She circled him, tucking that, pining this, and admiring her work on a real body. "It suits you, but then, I noticed you were wearing black and white stripes when you came."

There was that blush again. Beeatlejuice was now uncertain what that could mean. Lydia smoothed her hands over the fabric one last time and then pulled a camera off the shelf. "Would you mind posing some for me?"

"Umm sure." Beatlejuice allowed her to pose him how she liked and then she took her photos.

Lydia focused her camera, her palms sweating. She felt strange. Seeing Betty in that dress had made her heart skip a beat. Everything the girl said had her blushing and feeling like her brain was filled with sticky taffy. She had never been attracted to a girl like this before, but then again she had also not been attracted to a man like this either. As Betty posed she let her eyes wander in hungry sweeps over the tall blonde. Great ass, legs to her chin, fantastic chest and everything in wonderful proportions and on top of it all she could not remember ever being at such instant ease with anyone else ever before.

Could it be? Was she falling for a girl?


End file.
